Bouts!

I can understand why boys at young ages, go through the underwear staining era? Some boys feel that bowel movements are horrid and they hold it in sometimes. Basically many boys have bouts with bowels. Why? Because at a young age, they realize that intimacy can be done in the anal area, once they become consenting adults.

As a boy I didn't like going myself. Then as a teen, it was an intrigue to do the act. Now, as a mature man, I realize that all my bouts, were just about me growing up and learning about my persona.

Foward!

Letting negativity get to you, can be very bad. Crippling! The best thing you can do is learn your lesson, and then move on! When I finish college, I will move on and find work. My boy Dan thinks, I will be helping people for a living. That sounds GREAT!

I’ll work for any charity or organization! I have a student loan to pay off, and a name to change! Not to mention, I will pursue my dreams of stardom! I’m losing weight, and my goal will be pleasing!

God, life will pass you by if you don’t live your dreams. After a good meal, I think I will be ready to move on! My clothes are coming in, and I may just dye my hair in a couple days! I have books to buy, and lot’s to look forward to! I may buy Rupaul's new album, if I can get it used. And maybe I'll buy Divine's greatest hits!!!

I wanna read this book!

Since a new college semester is going to happen soon, I decided to get into reading much more. Even if it meant, reading for fun:

The Path Of The Green Man: Gay Men, Wicca and Living a Magical Life
I am so looking forward to reading this book!!! I just need to find a copy of it, and Amazon can provide for that! Yeah. I already read the 1st chapter on Google Books. I think this book will help in my self-growth. I hope to read more book from gay authors?
http://books.google.com/books?id=fcYSsnfOHbEC&dq=The+Path+Of+The+Green+Man:+Gay+Men,+Wicca+and+Living+a+Magical+Life&printsec=frontcover&source=bl&ots=6fQepUupVi&sig=8bOTA1efTAg3KQLKKKkJoyAMzZM&hl=en&ei=1Z9ISqLTEI-eswO-0f2QAQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3

The man on the cover. He's beautiful.

Life is grand 2

In the process of my recovery, I have realized that not all things are what they seem… Be careful of liars, because they will appear as friends –who do favors for you- and then they will backstab you.

I have had quite a bitchy past few years, and I have come a long way through fighting evil, and controversy. You have got to be who you are, if you want to be happy. I’ll make this very brief:

May to August 08 – I went through a hellish summer college break. I dealt with idiocy and prejudice from family members. I don’t trust them.

August to December 08 – I stopped talking to them. I was going to make this permanent, but I needed money. Basically I left my church, and my parents tried to force back into the congregation.

January 09 – I stand as who I am!!! I reunited with them, and any perception they have of me, is not my concern.

But there is so much hate, which I have gotten from all past experiences. It has confined me. Shelled me in, so that I am currently struggling to break free. I am a free person, but I know the struggle of ignorance. I am trying to break free from all human evil, which I call ignorance….

My breaking process is painful, since I’ve had to deal with so many truths about myself. None of us are normal, and we all have strange sides to ourselves. Be careful of false people, for they will use this to their advantage. Everyone is not alike.

There are no opposites, but only right and wrong. Light and darkness are just words. I love the dark; it’s beautiful for me..!

Brain change...

This blog is inspired by a celebrity that revealed his original persona.
Check out link here:

http://erikrhodes.blogspot.com/2008/03/taking-look-from-step-back.html

In my view, no one can tell you who you are. You have to discover that? Lately I have been trying to keep positive and happy. I just finished a good 3 solid semesters, of college and I am brain drained! I’m not happy with my name. 1st off, I can’t pronounce it w/o feeling embarrassed. 2nd, it doesn’t make any sense, its B.S. to me! I want a name which defines me! My current name doesn’t!

I think that any American should change their name if they want to. My whole purpose of a name change, is to find inner peace and get closer to the real me! I am not my ethnicity, and I hate when people ask me about it. Why would I make friends with every French person, because I’m French also?! I think ethnic people take this way too damn seriously!

In my view, Asians and Pacific Islanders blame whites for prejudice, but they won’t admit to their own! They especially have a problem with Americans, which are Asian/Pacific Islander. Why? Because these people are from a free country, and exist in a Western type culture. America is for the free, and if you love being an American than more power to you! But to most ethnics, it will always be a white man’s land.

Sadly, this philosophy turns into hate for whites, Westerners, Caucasians and Americans everywhere. All Americans are of the same nationality. This runs into a problem for me too. My name means several things in many ethnic cultures. I hate when people ask me if I’m Pacific Islander or Hindu? Why? Because of a last name, or they want to see me as something I’m not.

I’m not brown skinned, I’m beige and that isn’t even brown in the slightest. It’s pastel.

At college this person once asked me flat is out if I was Tongan or Samoan? She said it was because; many Polynesians were trying to figure out if I was? 1st off bitch, thanks for giving me two options to pick from!!! What hinted that I was even a Polynesian in the 1st place? This bitch, just confirmed to me, that some people only care about ethnicity and not that a person is a human being.

I’m Caucasian with a strange name. I can’t wait to get my name changed! This name change will help define me more as my own person. I am not this current name…

Trauma

Important dates for me to remember:

March 3rd, 14th and 19th. The latter is a special day for me, since all was resolved. Thank you.

2006 is truly a significant year for me. It symbolizes the gate between my past and the fantastic/horrid future! So much trials are happening to me! God bless all, my Angels who go through shit?! Life ain't easy or fair!

December 4 and 15th. These were tough times for me. It was the introduction to growth and learning. God truly began to test me with endless pains... I can honestly say my problems aren't that bad, but it's the psychological trauma, which disturbs me.

All people -in my view- are insane. Either we are abnormal or have abnormal qualities. The biggest pain to society is religion. They dictate what is normal. When in reality, their rules only put you in jeopardy. Stick in there my Angels, I know I am.

Albinism

Why is it that so much info on this subject is hidden? I don't think all al's look unique! Some pics I've seen are disgusting, and the people look more like forms of mutations!!! I know someone who has very pale beige skin. He is not white all around, but his skin can only handle so much sun!

It looks like he has a top layer of beige tone, and then nothing but white underneath! One time he spent too many months in the sun, and later on his skin pealed off, which looked burnt. Sometimes he really does feel sun-pain under the sun. It's horrible! Noxema is the secret of soothing sun burn.

This person looks very handsome, but very white at times. His skin actually looks grey at times! I wish doctors would stop advertising such common crappy knowledge about albinism, and just dig deeper into the subject? Maybe then, my friend can understand why he suffers in the sun?

I think that Michael Jackson is kinda making a point in his Black & White song. Our bodies are only holders for out essence, and then we are gone. So who cares, if you want to change your appearance?

Besides this, let's spicen up this post with some boys!!!