Get a life, and stop hating on white people!

I've been really down lately. I realized that hate is not the answer! The holidays bring about the hatred and truth of normal people! They live a fib, and the holidays expose them! I am currently residing in a conservative town, and I can sense the dread of prejudice of post-Thanksgiving!

A white man's holiday, is the only way they choose to see it as! The college feast was gross! I got sick off the food, and it wasn't even traditional! It was revamped crap, that was catered towards minorities- in live in Hawaii! The stuffing was just croutons in oil, and the gravy was lard!

I got the runs from it! My hair right now it dark ashe brown! I am currently on Dessert Life burnout! Too much karma, and it hurts! A man wants me to fuck him, and he is positive! I will only have sex with him, if I get to wear a condom?!

Lube it inside and out and ram it into that pussy!

Yummy fruit!

Monday night
Tuesday night
Friday night
Every night
Why?
Cause I can

New York and Japan
With the stop up in Milan
After all
I'm a man

I'll get to know your family
Get your friends to fall in love with me
Just happens all so easily
Easily

I'll have you thinking I'm the one
You play your part I play along
We can have a lot of fun
Until I'm done

Weeelll I am not done with college life. It has gotten easier since I have put God first, which is something I NEVER did!
It was always moi!

Now it’s Him and moi! Well I am currently using Cherry Lipsmacker at my home! I’ve always used Chapstick, but I switched! Why? Because petroleum tastes gross…unless it’s used in other ways???? But that fantasy will come true later on!
Here is a list of all the Smacker’s I’ve used:

Dr. Pepper
Cherry 7 up
Root Beer
Berry Peach
Bubble Gum
Cookie Dough
Cotton Candy
Strawberry
Watermelon
Aztec Punch
Strawberry Banana
Mango Melon
Royal Berry Punch
Watermelon Cherry
Slammin' Strawberry Kiwi
Strawberry
Banana Berry
Strawberry Watermelon
Mango Peach
Cherry

It's no sweat
Get the check
Show respect
Don't forget you'll pay me later
That's the plan

Why?

My best friend told me that my hair color should reflect my soul. When I have pale blonde hair, I have fuller hair! My hair is dark blonde, and it's real flat! It's not healthy! It's damaged and the color is real rusty!

I might as well go for burgundy?! White males are hated by minorities for being beautiful! I experience this at my college in Hawaii. I can't be too blonde or radiant with my hair color! It's discrimination.

I hate myself, since my image is failing! I look like hell!

The darker side of CNN

I can't sleep without expressing this! This evening I was watching CNN and I nearly died inside watching that Jim Jones story! In South America he opened his business, and there was nothing but black people in the congregation!!! DAMN LMAO! Nothing but black people on that plane from the U.S. to South America!

I was so embarrassed and enraged at CNN for making fools out of minorities once AGAIN! Always trying to cover the real story! And no I don't buy that black lady's story of being a victim at that Church!

DAMN I can't stop laughing out of embarrassment!

Too much kiddo!

I was unhappy with the midterm grade I got from my Finance class. I was devastated and literally in tears, within my head. I hated it! I felt like, I was in a nightmare! I felt like I was never going to graduate, and become a loser of society with no prospects. I was ready to study my ass off triple time!

But NOW… I realize, that the threat of failure was actually a Gift… The Universe was telling me to, calm down and claim what is mine..? This whole semester, all I could think about was being a star and kicking ass, my own way!!! However…that wasn’t the Lord’s way..!

He wanted me to be happy, and realize that I am human, and the he controls everything! I can only pray for a miracle, that I will pass this class and move on. I got to remember, that politics play a lot into, what is used to create exams. My teacher didn’t write the exam, so why should I be mad at him???

He said that regardless of my exam grades, that I’m dong TERRIFIC! I hope so! I believe him! Oh well..! I will try again, and do my best. All I need is a passing grade. I shall pray for a miracle..?

Update!

Hi everyone, I'll update my blog very soon...

Never Go Home Again

I'll never go home again
I'll never go home again
I'll never go home again

What is important for me to know about myself:

Dark blonde
American
Spiritual

Well I just woke up from a horrid sleep 4 hours ago. I feel good. God has been taking away a lot of my pain. My weight lost, is doing great. I’m nocturnal, which implies that I’m Post-Meridian.

My whole soul celebrates the night. I hope, that I can find a wonderful night job, after I have finished college?

I love life…it sucks at times, but my God is there to feed me. Most people wouldn’t survive at night, but I will. I want to live in night switch.

Sleep in the day, live by the night...

Believe in yourself people. I know it’s hard, when guilt and power gets you down. But you’ll make it. I know I will…

There's a home for you here

Where love is unconditional

Go to the light, never say never

Pop

I never realized how much Mommie Dearest, has influenced popular cinema? I am watching it now, and it kills me just how, this film is copied into so many dramas- in order to give it camp appeal!

I think it’s odd, that people take this movie so seriously! It’s funny! BTW: What is normal. Functionalist's base their studies on an idealist culture...which BTW doesn’t exist. The whole world is based on ideals, which BTW are made up. What is a boy, girl, man, woman? What is normal? Be genuine people. Labels are labels.

Scott Douglas -in the movie, Our Mother's Murder- is totally based upon Joan's persona from Mommie Dearest. This is just one example, of how this film has helped in the camp of many films...

I think that the real Joan lived a very victimized life. In the end, she is the hero of MD. She is medicated and possible a criminal on the run? Overall, I think she was a great actor.

Have fun...

Yes I think that Hillary should’ve won the election, but everytime a new Pres. is chosen, it’s always predetermine! I really couldn’t doubt that Obama was going to win? CNN totally snubbed Clinton and made an ass out of their own network, by only presenting the public with showings of Obama and McCain.

McCain is a right-winger, not to mention he supported Prop. 8. I’m fine with Obama being Pres., but I HATE the people keep referring to him, as the 1st Black President. That’s the last thing we need right now. He supports gay rights, and I love that!

I’m glad that Obama won over McCain. I can't believe that, this guy had the nerve to STILL get into the White House, by trying to be Vice Pres.? I hope he will realize, that it’s OVER fro him!!! Anyway, Spirit Animals are all that! Here are mine:

Hawk Messenger, intuition, victory, healing, nobility, recollection, cleansing, visionary power, and guardianship

Horse Freedom, stamina, mobility, the land, travel, power, and freedom.

Owl Deception, clairvoyance, insight, messenger.

Lion wisdom and power. the abilities of heart-centered leadership.

Raven the messenger, make changes in the way you perceive things and gives you the ability to see what has to be changed.

Unicorn the ability to make your dreams come true.

Bouts!

I can understand why boys at young ages, go through the underwear staining era? Some boys feel that bowel movements are horrid and they hold it in sometimes. Basically many boys have bouts with bowels. Why? Because at a young age, they realize that intimacy can be done in the anal area, once they become consenting adults.

As a boy I didn't like going myself. Then as a teen, it was an intrigue to do the act. Now, as a mature man, I realize that all my bouts, were just about me growing up and learning about my persona.

Foward!

Letting negativity get to you, can be very bad. Crippling! The best thing you can do is learn your lesson, and then move on! When I finish college, I will move on and find work. My boy Dan thinks, I will be helping people for a living. That sounds GREAT!

I’ll work for any charity or organization! I have a student loan to pay off, and a name to change! Not to mention, I will pursue my dreams of stardom! I’m losing weight, and my goal will be pleasing!

God, life will pass you by if you don’t live your dreams. After a good meal, I think I will be ready to move on! My clothes are coming in, and I may just dye my hair in a couple days! I have books to buy, and lot’s to look forward to! I may buy Rupaul's new album, if I can get it used. And maybe I'll buy Divine's greatest hits!!!

I wanna read this book!

Since a new college semester is going to happen soon, I decided to get into reading much more. Even if it meant, reading for fun:

The Path Of The Green Man: Gay Men, Wicca and Living a Magical Life
I am so looking forward to reading this book!!! I just need to find a copy of it, and Amazon can provide for that! Yeah. I already read the 1st chapter on Google Books. I think this book will help in my self-growth. I hope to read more book from gay authors?
http://books.google.com/books?id=fcYSsnfOHbEC&dq=The+Path+Of+The+Green+Man:+Gay+Men,+Wicca+and+Living+a+Magical+Life&printsec=frontcover&source=bl&ots=6fQepUupVi&sig=8bOTA1efTAg3KQLKKKkJoyAMzZM&hl=en&ei=1Z9ISqLTEI-eswO-0f2QAQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3

The man on the cover. He's beautiful.

Life is grand 2

In the process of my recovery, I have realized that not all things are what they seem… Be careful of liars, because they will appear as friends –who do favors for you- and then they will backstab you.

I have had quite a bitchy past few years, and I have come a long way through fighting evil, and controversy. You have got to be who you are, if you want to be happy. I’ll make this very brief:

May to August 08 – I went through a hellish summer college break. I dealt with idiocy and prejudice from family members. I don’t trust them.

August to December 08 – I stopped talking to them. I was going to make this permanent, but I needed money. Basically I left my church, and my parents tried to force back into the congregation.

January 09 – I stand as who I am!!! I reunited with them, and any perception they have of me, is not my concern.

But there is so much hate, which I have gotten from all past experiences. It has confined me. Shelled me in, so that I am currently struggling to break free. I am a free person, but I know the struggle of ignorance. I am trying to break free from all human evil, which I call ignorance….

My breaking process is painful, since I’ve had to deal with so many truths about myself. None of us are normal, and we all have strange sides to ourselves. Be careful of false people, for they will use this to their advantage. Everyone is not alike.

There are no opposites, but only right and wrong. Light and darkness are just words. I love the dark; it’s beautiful for me..!

Brain change...

This blog is inspired by a celebrity that revealed his original persona.
Check out link here:

http://erikrhodes.blogspot.com/2008/03/taking-look-from-step-back.html

In my view, no one can tell you who you are. You have to discover that? Lately I have been trying to keep positive and happy. I just finished a good 3 solid semesters, of college and I am brain drained! I’m not happy with my name. 1st off, I can’t pronounce it w/o feeling embarrassed. 2nd, it doesn’t make any sense, its B.S. to me! I want a name which defines me! My current name doesn’t!

I think that any American should change their name if they want to. My whole purpose of a name change, is to find inner peace and get closer to the real me! I am not my ethnicity, and I hate when people ask me about it. Why would I make friends with every French person, because I’m French also?! I think ethnic people take this way too damn seriously!

In my view, Asians and Pacific Islanders blame whites for prejudice, but they won’t admit to their own! They especially have a problem with Americans, which are Asian/Pacific Islander. Why? Because these people are from a free country, and exist in a Western type culture. America is for the free, and if you love being an American than more power to you! But to most ethnics, it will always be a white man’s land.

Sadly, this philosophy turns into hate for whites, Westerners, Caucasians and Americans everywhere. All Americans are of the same nationality. This runs into a problem for me too. My name means several things in many ethnic cultures. I hate when people ask me if I’m Pacific Islander or Hindu? Why? Because of a last name, or they want to see me as something I’m not.

I’m not brown skinned, I’m beige and that isn’t even brown in the slightest. It’s pastel.

At college this person once asked me flat is out if I was Tongan or Samoan? She said it was because; many Polynesians were trying to figure out if I was? 1st off bitch, thanks for giving me two options to pick from!!! What hinted that I was even a Polynesian in the 1st place? This bitch, just confirmed to me, that some people only care about ethnicity and not that a person is a human being.

I’m Caucasian with a strange name. I can’t wait to get my name changed! This name change will help define me more as my own person. I am not this current name…

Trauma

Important dates for me to remember:

March 3rd, 14th and 19th. The latter is a special day for me, since all was resolved. Thank you.

2006 is truly a significant year for me. It symbolizes the gate between my past and the fantastic/horrid future! So much trials are happening to me! God bless all, my Angels who go through shit?! Life ain't easy or fair!

December 4 and 15th. These were tough times for me. It was the introduction to growth and learning. God truly began to test me with endless pains... I can honestly say my problems aren't that bad, but it's the psychological trauma, which disturbs me.

All people -in my view- are insane. Either we are abnormal or have abnormal qualities. The biggest pain to society is religion. They dictate what is normal. When in reality, their rules only put you in jeopardy. Stick in there my Angels, I know I am.

Albinism

Why is it that so much info on this subject is hidden? I don't think all al's look unique! Some pics I've seen are disgusting, and the people look more like forms of mutations!!! I know someone who has very pale beige skin. He is not white all around, but his skin can only handle so much sun!

It looks like he has a top layer of beige tone, and then nothing but white underneath! One time he spent too many months in the sun, and later on his skin pealed off, which looked burnt. Sometimes he really does feel sun-pain under the sun. It's horrible! Noxema is the secret of soothing sun burn.

This person looks very handsome, but very white at times. His skin actually looks grey at times! I wish doctors would stop advertising such common crappy knowledge about albinism, and just dig deeper into the subject? Maybe then, my friend can understand why he suffers in the sun?

I think that Michael Jackson is kinda making a point in his Black & White song. Our bodies are only holders for out essence, and then we are gone. So who cares, if you want to change your appearance?

Besides this, let's spicen up this post with some boys!!!

Pagan

Paganism is compared to many aspects. Greeks and Romans compare to Azna. Worldwide it has endless meanings. In my view, Paganism is the channeling of spiritual energy from the land. I believe that all living things have a stamina, which will turn into something else when it goes away. Not all humans have souls...some will die and evaporate or turn into something else, like dust or a planet???

I love incense, and nature scented candles. I'm not opposed to lab made products. Holistic products can attract swarms and pests...since they contain edible herbs and so forth... I love scents like:

Bergamot
Lavender
Lemon
Vanilla
Berry
Mirth
Tangerine
etc.

The feed of Soul

After reading the blogs from my idols, I have come to realize that the Universe is telling me to chill! I just read Jason Ridges blog, and he is working on his well being! God! I have to work on mine! Attending college has been hard! Especially being openly gay, and having to work twice as hard to get good grades. I am hauntingly discriminated for who I am, because the truth will always set you free!

At my school, there a very few people who are out like I am! The rest, will diss gays anytime! Shit happens, and you don't have to clean it up! The truth is, I've been feeding myself earth knowledge, and virtually spending no time on my soul. I have to work on that! My online pics haven't been updated on eons, and I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown. In the next two weeks, I have to make an important decision. Am I going to take some pics of myself soon. Instead of wearing makeup, I will wear tinted moisturizer!

I need to relax my hair as well!

My Life in Porn: The Bobby Blake Story

I have to confess, that I don't like Blake! The whole point of gays finding God, is that they realize that God isn't confined by chapels and religion, regardless of what miracles, which they may witness. Yet the man HAD to go back to his hometown church, to find himself?! I think he's a fake, who happens to be just another closet-cased Fundamentalist, who hates what God created. A Homosexual. I'm more than happy, that Flex Deon Blake has moved on.

Who needs this man?! Another lost soul... There is no hell, and no guilt. Just lies. This is why gays should never be afraid to die. Why? Because a religion teaches about a vengeful jealous God, who sends sinners to hell? God is All-Loving, so don't worry about it. Sin is misery, deception, lies and hate. Not being who you are.

It's almost like Bobby is saying that being gay is wrong, and that God is just putting him through it, for a lesson. In other words, he won't be gay when he dies. He even writes about his gay brothers and their "struggle"! I feel sorry for him!

I can see why the presence of Roman Heart, Jason Ridge, Erik Rhodes, Jason Crew and many other gay porn stars are needed in the limelight right now. Some things are slowly trying to oppose us, and stop what Heavenly Father has made: Beautiful Homosexual Males. Forever... We are Angels!!! Endure the pain and maddness of the world, so that we can evolve. I love you!

Brown!

Well my hair is brown-red right now, and I just got my L'oreal Colorist Collection (Walnut) Shampoo! Well the snow has melted in my home town and I think that is cool. Summer is a lot of fun in my hometown! The town I’m in, is kind of depressing..! This town has no known stores! Basically, I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone!

Final exams are going great!

To be honest, I NEVER colored my hair brown! I have always gone for red or blonde. I was brown once, since I wanted to cover my burgundy hair! But I only did that once! I never touched up the color! But that era was depressing, since my hubbie was far away in another country! So that always brings back bitter memories!

My friend Mark, wants me to post my Dream on my blog! The dream explains my Dessert Life Period!

I will dye my hair violet-black soon. It would help if there were beauty supply stores nearby, but there isn’t! I’ll check online and see? Nothing I found nothing! I will have to spend much more for dye online!

You dug your own grave!!!

Well it is nearly the end half of 2009, and I can’t believe it! A lot has happened in my life, and I have grown so much. My Dessert Life Period has evolved to great heights. I have grown so that I’m not so afraid of dumb things, which stood in my path like before!

To be honest, fighting for gay rights in my town has been tough. I’m the only one, who fights for us, and I get no support in return. I’m only human, and I refuse to clean up after closet cases who won’t join me! The nerve of these people to ask for my best wishes in their hetero marriages, when they are miserable living in the closet. Fuck that!

I don’t think so! Everything is all up to me, and I get fed up with it! What are these closet cases going to do, when I leave this town?! I truly wish they would wake the fuck up, and I pray about that! I’m sick of it! To be honest, if I EVER have to witness one of my gay friends –under religious pressures- choosing to go back into the closet ever again, then I may just faint and never wake up!

What are they so afraid of?! Personally, I have a go to hell attitude. What I do with my life, is no one’s concern! If you are one of the closet cases, then I TRULY DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!!! You get what you settle for in life, and you dig your own grave everyday! You know that, as well as I do!

I DO NOT FEEL SORR FOR YOU! YOU DUG YOUR OWN GRAVE!!!!

Finals

Well it is almost finals week for me. This means, spending day and night studying for that A! I will begin that tomorrow. I have much to do tomorrow. It is pouring here at my school. I hate rain, since where I’m staying is drenched in dirt!

I may watch Jurassic Park 3 today. It was a load of fun to watch in the theater! I believe I will get an A for sure?! If not, a C!

Let them go 2

Some of your friends may be your relatives. To become friends with you again, they will use the “because we are related” excuses! I have learned by now that anyone can hate you, even your so-called genetic/blood relatives. You see, I have some relatives which are Polynesian –not that I’m part of that group- and in that culture, they TOTALLY believe in the saying: Blood is thicker than water! Family is everything and some of these people –especially if they’re religious freaks- will tell about their whole line of ancestry, even though it’s filled with myths and lies!

It’s a myth to think that “blood is thicker than water”, because anyone is obligated to hate you! Blood or not, someone can hate you, so that myth falls in the well! Blood is not thicker than water!

Let them go...

Let friends go, when they are not good. Let people criticize you, and judge you. I broke up with my friends long ago. Back in 2007. Last year, they tried to reconcile with me..! I realize, that once friends turn out to be bad, then you should just move on!

Bad friends will only try to hang with you, only when they want something. They will use bribes. Let them go, and let their hate go. Their hate is so strong, that they only destroy themselves!!! That is their real enemy, which they will never conquer!

Sunshine

Reinventing me hasn’t been easy lately. I’ve had to deal with trials in the last year, which has crippled me! Hateful/racist relatives, dark witchcraft and homphobism! I left my church 2 years ago. It caused me to distance myself from my parents from August to December of 2008.

The truth be told, they just didn’t understand that I have my own beliefs about God! I believe that God is all love, and doesn’t send people to hell! I believe there is a literal heaven, but you don’t have to go there, once you die!

These trials set me back, so that I was blinded. I forgot my real mission in life. Actually I lost my hope of my legacy…to my gays! I stopped dying my hair –which left me heavily and emotionally depressed- and just gave up on life. I forgot how bright life was! The only thing I did to my hair was relax it!

The truth be told, not everyone believes in God! I have to remember that! People have no problem living lies in their life! I love God. In January I began to pick up the pieces. I lost my faith in God! Why would a loving God cause so much pain in my life?! I now realize that my trials and challenges may pain me, but that they only draw me closer to the Lord!

But once again I will pick myself up and continue in my legacy! Bless my People, and they will prevail and overcome any trials and challenges, which come into their Life. We…are Angels..!

Cold..!

I love cherries, and this wallpaper!
I have a sore throat today, and I could use some hard candy! But instead I'll just drink some lemonade! I love Country Time, better than Kool-Aid though! But KA cherry rules! My hair is pale blonde and I luvs it!

But during the summer, I'll have red hair. I'm still undecided on what color red I'll pick?! I refuse to go for an orange-reddish color! I want real-red or violet red!

The products I chose are:
Color Vive Pro-

Tresemme Colorthrive-

Redken treatment-

Nice N' Easy-

Loreal Colorist Cherry Bark-

Red

I love the galaxy! I love red and purple ones!

Life is grand…

I spent all of last night and this morning crying. I wasn’t counting my many blessings! Last night I bleach the hell out of my hair for last time. I had an allergic reaction to the dye, and my scalp is a little stung. Somehow this fact woke me up to how blessed I am.

I dyed my hair all this time, to please men. But I realize that men love me the way I am. That sting woke me up bad! No longer was I going to hurt my skin! My skin is just fine though. You see, I have always tried to enhance my image, because I wanted men’s approval. I realize that I can end that notion..!

It’s a blessing to know that I’m every man’s Dream… I’m not thin or fat. But I want to be slimmer. I’m naturally rubenesque! I will always be a little chubby and I’m happy with that! This helps me to realize just how important my bf is to me! We will be together after two years? Only God can say…

We met 4 years ago. It was love at first site. He was tall, robust and overweight, but slim. I was large. We both thought we couldn’t have each other unless we lost weight. He became anorexic, and I nearly OD’d on diet pills. I quit, but not him! After some time, he came to his senses! I love him big and natural. Just like how he likes me!

I don’t have to be stick thin to please his senses. He loves me just as I am, and I was WAY bigger when we 1st met! Thanks! It was confirmed to me this past Sunday that Prop. 8 won! I was saddened, and I felt like giving up the cause! I was in a real bad place! But last night, after talking to God, I can understand why we gay men are so hated?!

We are Angels…literally angels. We are makers of our own Destiny, that the Universe did not –and never will- grant straight people. God created us different to be unique and save this world. We’re not feminine or masculine energy. We are real humans who change anything we touch for the good!

Sadly we are sometimes used to enhance The Straight Lifestyle. But yet we still fight for our own liberty. America will be a place for us One Day, to celebrate. Remember, this nation is still new, and history doesn’t tell of gay bills, that were passed in Lincoln’s time?! We are literal angels and True makers of God.

There is no greater compliment… Through thick and thin, I must always remember this, in my kind heart.

Hello people!

Well my friend introduced me to the Mathew Sheppard story! God it scares me since, hate crimes still occur. Gay Panic, is never an excuse! Well may he rest in peace! I’m sure he was a very nice man! I think his killers were both gay, and self-resented!

“Matt was like most young gay men I know, he had a great sense of humor and quick wit . . . On the outside he always seemed happy. He did want to fit in, and for the most part had no trouble doing so. He was always fun to be around . . . I never new Matt to be into party drugs. Matt was a typical young gay man, bitchy to those he did like and fiercely loyal to those he loved. Nothing less then a great kid.”

http://www.stophate.us/shepard/memories.html

The Sheppard’s – as far as the movie goes- appears to be the typical Christian family! Fundamentalist family! I’m a nice person, but yet I know some will hate me to an extent. But I still move on… At first, these kinds of parents, won’t understand, but eventually they accept!

Watching this story helped me to realize that, my father had always known! We went fishing, and I guess I was less than interested. Wasn't he scared to go fishing with me, in the middle of nowhere, with no one around?! But he fished and caught many fish! I just stood there, and gazed at the water!

Hi!

Count Duckula seems to have taken over my life?! Strange! I remember this cartoon from Nick Afternoons on Sundays!

I am feeling very sick today! I will sleep in tonight! Soon I will begin to dye my hair again! Isn’t Vicks great?! I love it! It’s pure black outside tonight! That is very SCARY! It’s a sign of change! Maybe bad, maybe good?! Mostly bad?!

I don’t know about your location, but many native settlers of America, believe that a black night is a horrid sign of change! It can affect your mind while you sleep, especially if you run into the wrong individual, who happens to not like you?!

I have a bad feeling about this night! If you ever have a bad feeling about black nights, then pray to the Lord! These nights are no accident!

Eyes without a Face...

I'm all out of hope
One more battle brave could bring a fall
When I'm far from home
Don't call me on the phone
To tell me you're alone
It's easy to deceive
It's easy to tease
But hard to get release

Hi everyone! Night is my time! I love Nature. Galaxy I mean! There are so many beautiful things in space!

Natures

http://www.millerscience.com/IMG_0638.JPG/IMG_0638-full;init:.JPG
http://cache.lifehacker.com/assets/resources/2008/08/lightning-at-sunset.png

Aren’t these pics of nature great?!!! I love the 2nd one! I would love to swim in the purple of that giant river?! I wanna live near a body of water, when I get my dream house. I was thinking of either living on the eastcoast –Puritan town- or in California!

Blissed..!

Sometimes I wonder what’s the point of promoting a healthy gay lifestyle, when so many gays hate themselves?! There isn’t THAT MUCH unity within our society. Example! I used to be part of a gay board, and we all know which straight guy celebs are –in actuality- gay men!

I mentioned one hot guy and I had like five people pouncing on me! If someone is gay, then why shouldn’t we welcome them?! I was later banned from the board, for reporting harassment from a moderator! To be honest, I just think the board was very homophobic –sad since it was meant for gay men- and I just happened to be very proud of myself!

The world adores gay romances. My best advice to any gay man is this: Don’t spend your life encouraging other guys to come out! It’s not going to happen that well! Instead ENCOURAGE YOURSELF…to be happy with a man, a job and a Life!!! You have only ONE Life, and you should live it!

I think God created for every gay man, a match to compliment him. Mine is still out there, and I know he will come to me –NO MATTER WHAT- when God sees fit! One more important thing! Love God, and let anything you can’t understand become his problem! He will answer you correctly –no matter what- at any time!

CRY!

Boy these holidays of this year, have left me very thoughtful! Well I made up with my parents, after a monthly feud! God it’s good to be back with them! God bless anyone out there who searches for the truth. Don’t settle just for one…whatever, you know what I mean! I was at Barnes N Noble, yesterday sipping on a mocha/raspberry frappy!
I hate that stuff, but I needed a pick me up!

I love Italian sodas. Well my friend from old, has returned to town. He’s sort of bonkers now! He’s paler than a ghost, and seems more lost than ever. I’m scared for him, what if he is in danger?! Funny, he came off as a nice young man, when I first met him?! He still is, but he looks like he just fell of a freight train! I feel sorry for him, I valued him so greatly!

He’s gay, and I pray his family didn’t commit him to a “straight-again palace”?!